24 weeks and its time for 4D!!!!

21 August 2018

Its 2pm... and today is 4D ultrasound day !! I have to leave by 3pm.. so basically... one hour to go.. and i am feeling so excited and nervous at the same time! Today is the day when me and pratik are going to see the first glimpse of the face of our darling baby.. the face that me and pratik are going to lovingly stare at after 3 months.... the face that we are going to kiss.. the face that we are going to analyze up and down to see who the baby exactly looks like..!! Infact, if we get a chance to see his features properly today.. we might start analyzing from today. 😁 Oh baby!!.... can't wait !!!

3pm... I reach at the 4d sonography clinic.. eagerly waiting for my surrogate to arrive.. After sometime as soon as the surrogate came, i noticed her even more large belly.. wow.. i wish i had that belly !! As we were waiting for the technician to take us in, me and the surrogate had a chat about her health.. and she told me that the baby moves a lot now.. But as usual, today when i tried to feel the baby, i couldn't.. 😒 .. "Beta, why don't you respond when mumma tries to feel u ???"

Anyway, after a while we went inside for our scan.. it was a 20-25 minute long scan... and yes i got a glimpse of my sweet baby's face.. But not that clearly.. as baby jaju was hiding his face with his hands during the entire scan..

We saw his entire body on 4D as well.. but now since the baby has grown in size, he does not fit in the ultrasound screen anymore.. hence we saw only parts of him.. For the first time we also saw his cute little feet...💓

Wow.. it was so much fun to see our baby in 4D.. but ya this wont be the final appearance of him once he arrives.. he will be a lot chubbier by then.. although his nose looks somewhat like me in this scan.. so i think the baby will look just like me when he arrives. 😉

After the scan, we went to see our regular doctor to show her the scan reports and she said everything looks perfectly normal..

Regarding the surrogate, well, she got extremely excited while the scan was happening and told me that the baby definitely looks like me.. And when i was trying to feel the baby by touching her belly, she said to me.. don't worry if he is not kicking now.. just 3 more months to go and soon he is going to make u feel everything that u are missing out now..

I am grateful to have a surrogate who is so willing to give me a child and at the same time is excited for me. Can't thank her enough !!

Things that didn't work for me..

For any lady who is planning to start a family there are so many advises that are given by people to her so that she can conceive.. I was also a victim of this situation.. specially after people learned that i am having problems regarding pregnancy..

Some people thought i was delaying family planning and hence they would ask me every time.. "Beta, how long are you going to wait..? You should start planning now " or the normal desi style.. "good news kab degi??" Initially i got really frustrated with all those questions.. it started to affect me more since i was already affected by my existing situation.

Later, as i learned to cope with my problems.. i started to dodge the question.. or tried to bring sympathy for myself by answering.. "Aunty, i am sure you know how difficult it is with today's lifestyle to conceive.. how do i tell u, i'm getting so stressed..".. and as soon as i said this.. maximum aunties used to reply.. " Oh beta..i understand.. you please don't take any stress" 😉

This answer was usually followed by an advice.. something that i should do in order to get pregnant and have a baby..

Some of the suggestions that i got..and that absolutely did not work for me.. were..( no offence to anyone who believes in  all this )
1. Feed the fishes
2. Meet this famous astrologer
3. Mannat maango
4. Write "Ram" naam 56,304 times..
5. Recite some mantra for a specific number of times..
6. Do a rahu-ketu pooja
7. Go to rajasthan for kul devi's blessings...
8. At night, sleep in a east-west position
And many more....

I am not saying that you should not follow this.. Do all this only if you heart says so.. but nothing like this will help you to conceive or carry a pregnancy full term..

If everything is working well for you.. a visit to the temple to thank god is a great idea... But pleading to god to give you a baby doesn't work.

Another thing that didn't work for me.. and i am sure everyone will agree is.. "Stress"..
Yes.. the big S word that is the reason for major health issues in today's world.. I can't stress enough on how important it is to keep stress away in order to have a baby.

One more thing that didn't work for me was.. "Constant positive thinking"..
To accept the problems that are going on in your life is the best way to cope with it. Yes, its extremely hard to do.. but that definitely works. It was the moment when i accepted that surrogacy is the only way for me, i found success..!

Things that happen to us.. just happen to us.. there is nothing like.. "Why did this happen to only me? ".. You cannot control anything outside of you.. The only thing you can control is you.. How you react to situations and what you make out of it.. Remember, you are in charge of your own happiness and it can come to you even if you are absolutely alone !!

Things that do work in times like these are..
Patience, Accepting your issues and trying to solve them medically (sometimes second opinions from other doctors are also helpful), exercise, a well balanced diet and living in the present... that's it !

Sometimes if things get too bad for you and you feel depressed.. Seeing a counselor is a much logical way of dealing with the situation. I didn't go to a counselor ( Coz pratik had faith in me that I can fight this) but in my heart I knew I needed one..

I truly believe in the fact that we cannot control someone's birth or death.. the only thing that we can control is, what we do in situations like these. 

22 weeks.... and I am 98% sure its a......!!

7 August 2018

Today we start our 6th month of pregnancy... Can't believe how fast time is running... We are 22 weeks now !! Hurrayyy 😀

After we reached the hospital for our scan, and met our surrogate, I could spot that growing bump.. Even though she is a bit fat, her popped out belly definitely tells that she is pregnant !! As we were waiting for our scan, my doctor came out of the operation theater and shouted its a girl..!! She just came out of a C-section and handed over the new born baby girl to her family... everyone seemed so happy.. and me and Pratik were thinking, something like this will definitely happen with us too !!

Later, we went in for our scan... everything looked perfect.. my baby now weighs around 530 grams which is an amazing weight.. and measures 5 days ahead!! Yayy !! Grow baby grow!💓

As the doctor was moving the machine towards the baby's legs... there.. right there... i saw it!! It was very very clear and my intuitions seemed right... Its a boy !!👦

Well, i am still 98% sure its a boy.. i might be wrong.. but in my heart... i know.. its a boy !

Pratik was a tiny bit disappointed... Its not 'coz its a boy.. but this was our only shot of having a baby.. and a girl would have made things perfect..

But anyway, as i had the idea since a long time, i am absolutely prepared for a boy.
In a way, its good that we got to know now.. coz now we will have ample time to be prepared for our son and we will be awaiting his arrival..

Regarding the surrogate.. she is doing great.. today i gave her some "Garbh sanskar" audio files..
I also tried to touch her belly and talk to the baby.. but looks like he sleeps during the appointments.. and so i couldn't feel any movements.. 😒

And regarding me.. well.. i follow these mom-to-be forums and i see other ladies posting their beautiful belly pics.. and that makes me soooo jealous !!!!

I know that I can't have a belly, and so the least i can do is read about how to take care of my baby after it is born..  And that's what i have started to do now..
I am absolutely loving it and enjoying this "preparation phase" now...!! I know its early to do all this.... but reading about all this.. makes me feel so happy...!! 😃

I wanna be prepared for you my son..!! I wanna be capable enough to take care of you in the best way possible !!!!